Name 10 board members that fit the following categories in your zombie apocalypse survival team

[R K]

Hey now, boobs ARE boobs.

Amazing where they get you.

 

[supraman]

Boobs make the world go around. If it wasn't for man's desire to impress women we wouldn't do jack shit.

 

[bri]

1. Sidekick: TCD

2. Heavy Weapons: BigPete

3. The Idiot Who Survives: MassHavoc

4. The Sniper: SupraMan (He plays enough shooters)

5. The One Who Loses it: Kerfluffle

6. The Brains: BHP

7. First to Die: Bri

8. Becomes a Zombie: ymono

9. The Smartass: Rk

10. The Sexy One: Jakobeast



I am really surprised that I am not the brains of the outfit, but it is an honor just being a chosen one. Since I am to be the first to die, from friendly fire, no doubt, I thought it would be appropriate for me to leave all my team members a few things.





TSD--I leave you my iPod including my purple jeweled case so you can finally get to listen to some good music before you die. It has about 4500 songs on it so you should be able to find something you like, but I know there is a closet Debbie Gibson fan in you somewhere. There is even some Billy Joel for those times when you like to explore your softer feminine side. Just so your realize if I am suffering from IBS (Irritable Bri Syndrome) that day, you might not want to **** with me or you could be the first to die.



BHP--Since you enjoy pooping so much I leave you my big toilet paper stash and all my magazines and for those times when you just don’t feel fresh, a box of Cottonelle wipes.



TCD--Because I know you like them too, I entrust you with all my sweet infomercial products. I’m afraid it will probably be up to you to provide the common sense. So I thought you could use my Ninja and Perfect Brownie Pan and Big Top Cupcake to whip up some special brownies and beverages to help you maintain a level head. The cupcake has that secret compartment you can fill with a little something extra to give them all a special surprise. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.



Masshavoc--I leave you the satisfaction of never having to see me again, (at least not in Zombieland) and a bottle of cheap champagne to celebrate the occasion in style.



Kerfuffle--Since they think you will be the first to turn into a psycho, I leave you my purple Yoga mat (because it is cushier than my gray one), sound machine and Yoga DVDs so you can relax and find inner tranquility. I keep hearing this little voice in the back of my head telling me that, to everyone’s displeasure, you will manage to be the last man standing.



Pete--The only weapon I possess is my brain and I think the zombies will probably eat that so the next best thing I could come up with for you is to leave you the contents of my purse. Don’t get too excited cause there is never any money in it, but I figure you can go into MacGyver mode and design some kind of useful weapon out of pens and perfume and tampons and mascara brush and a copper penny and my cell phone battery. You could probably at least make a flame thrower if I put some hair spray in there. Isn’t that the kind of thing Double Naught Spies do?



Supraman--Your troubles are over. You’ll never have to look for a girlfriend again. I am leaving you my massive Barbie collection. Guaranteed to just sit there with a dumb look on their faces and be seen and not heard. They are all plastic just the way you like your women. And they come with that special somethin’ extra you seek in a girl. They never poop. And going by the statistics, you yourself have presented on the boards, they are probably just the right size. I guess their one downfall is they have no “Marketable Skills”, but you can’t have everything.





Ymono--You are the sweet sensitive one, so I fear once I am gone everyone will try to make you their *****. So I leave you some strawberry lube, my Tickle His Pickle by Dr Sadie, and some good advice. Make them treat you well and make them work for it. You are not some cheap floozy. So never ever let them make you feel like one. Oh and of course I leave some chocolate, that can make even the worst thing a little more bearable. Besides I know you like your Wonka.



Jako--Well I already gave you my anus so I’m not sure if I can top that. I guess I will have to give you my beautiful glittery purple guitar cause I know you would appreciate it and take care of it and not trade it to some trashy zombie skank for some tawdry meaningless sex. You are such a silver tongued devil, you wouldn’t need to use it anyway. You are equipped with enough natural charisma to charm the pants off of anything. And I expect you to watch out for Ymono, Remember that sweet little morsel was your ***** first.



RK--What do I leave a man with everything? I pondered that for several moments and decided to give you my Blackhawk Snuggie. It will be the perfect thing to keep you warm and protected when you share those intimate moments with Kerfuffle, Just don’t get anything on it. I take really good care of it. And it is not to be used to dispose of his body either.



And finally, although he/she was not part of the team, I have something for Variable. I know he/she loves a good conspiracy so I leave him/her with the challenge of figuring out which of my teammates did me in cause it was definitely an inside job.

 

[Bringmepie]

Jako--Well I already gave you my anus so I’m not sure if I can top that. I guess I will have to give you my beautiful glittery purple guitar cause I know you would appreciate it and take care of it and not trade it to some trashy zombie skank for some tawdry meaningless sex. You are such a silver tongued devil, you wouldn’t need to use it anyway. You are equipped with enough natural charisma to charm the pants off of anything. And I expect you to watch out for Ymono, Remember that sweet little morsel was your ***** first.

It just seems that way since Jacko's type is usually of the pants free persuasion anyhow.

 

[R K]

Is it big enough to put his body in it? Hmmmm

 

[Bringmepie]

He can always hope they had implants.

Wouldn't those just gush out like blackheads when you squeeze them?

 

[bookjones]

Hey now, boobs ARE boobs.

Well alrighty then Goalie Man. Watever floats your freakass boat---if you think you can find the sexy in bio-hazard then I applaud you for being a supreme optimist and thus would urge you to get your mojo on with some undead skirt!

Pics or I call bullshit.

Tsk. . .tsk. So. Damn. Cynical.

 

[TSD]

Well alrighty then Goalie Man. Watever floats your freakass boat---if you think you can find the sexy in bio-hazard then I applaud you for being a supreme optimist and thus would urge you to get your mojo on with some undead skirt!









Tsk. . .tsk. So. Damn. Cynical.

The boobs wouldnt get all rotten right away. A freshly bitten zombie convert would still be totally boneable.



IN FACT, There was a movie about this I watched a few years back, damn me I cant remember the name.



These teenagers find this chained up zombie chick, in some abandoned building, one kid like wont do it, because he feels bad for the zombie, but the other one rapes the zombie and charges other teenagers money to go down there and **** the zombie.



So he becomes like a zombie Hooker rape pimp. Thats probably what they should have called the movie. No this was not a porn, it was serious business.

 

[R K]

I'm pretty sure they'd still flow south though.

 

[bookjones]

WOW! This conversation has become completely demented. How about turning TSD's original concept on it's head a little bit for offseason weekend shit's n' giggles. It's easy enough to come up with your own zombie apocalypse team but how about conjecturing what someone else's team would be like say TCD, StuG, or #1 Troublemaker RK. . .you know, those IHN infamous types?

 

[R K]

I am not! Well, maybe a little. But hey boobs that big are bound to go south eventually. Knee cap south!

 

[Pez68]

Well alrighty then Goalie Man. Watever floats your freakass boat---if you think you can find the sexy in bio-hazard then I applaud you for being a supreme optimist and thus would urge you to get your mojo on with some undead skirt!









Tsk. . .tsk. So. Damn. Cynical.

Guilty as charged.

 

[supraman]

Supraman--Your troubles are over. You’ll never have to look for a girlfriend again. I am leaving you my massive Barbie collection. Guaranteed to just sit there with a dumb look on their faces and be seen and not heard. They are all plastic just the way you like your women. And they come with that special somethin’ extra you seek in a girl. They never poop. And going by the statistics, you yourself have presented on the boards, they are probably just the right size. I guess their one downfall is they have no “Marketable Skills”, but you can’t have everything.



And finally, although he/she was not part of the team, I have something for Variable. I know he/she loves a good conspiracy so I leave him/her with the challenge of figuring out which of my teammates did me in cause it was definitely an inside job.

First off do I get the comb for their hair? I mean I have to style it the way I like and for....other things.



Also variable I did it. The conspiracy will be my motive.



And for the record a girl doesnt need implants to make me want to mount them, just large B or better boobs.

 

[supraman]

The boobs wouldnt get all rotten right away. A freshly bitten zombie convert would still be totally boneable.



IN FACT, There was a movie about this I watched a few years back, damn me I cant remember the name.



These teenagers find this chained up zombie chick, in some abandoned building, one kid like wont do it, because he feels bad for the zombie, but the other one rapes the zombie and charges other teenagers money to go down there and **** the zombie.



So he becomes like a zombie Hooker rape pimp. Thats probably what they should have called the movie. No this was not a porn, it was serious business.

Hopefully you like'em pale and cold.

 

[LordKOTL]

Hopefully you like'em pale and cold.

Necrophilia: The sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

 

[bri]

First off do I get the comb for their hair? I mean I have to style it the way I like and for....other things.



Also variable I did it. The conspiracy will be my motive.



And for the record a girl doesnt need implants to make me want to mount them, just large B or better boobs.

Just don't think you're getting the 57 Chevy. That's going to Jove.



However, I will throw in Ken and Blaine and even one of those old big original G I Joes, I think he is missing an arm though. I inherited him. He's from the 60s

 

[supraman]

Necrophilia: The sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

OMFG too funny

 

[EbonyRaptor]

Wow, a fun topic. This is cool.



I have no idea what this zombie thing is, plus I'm too new to know who to slot where. In fact I was pretty surprised I got mentioned at all in this thread, but MassHavoc was nice enough to put me into the sniper role. Yeah ... I like that role. I can see me like that character in Saving Private Ryan - you know the one - the Christian sniper that was reciting Psalms "yea though I walk through the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil ..." as he was picking off Germans left and right. Yeah baby!!! My kinda guy.



... course, then he got blown away by a tank. So, maybe we could change the ending a bit.

 

[mikita's helmet]

I mean all the smart chicks in the movies end up being hot one way or another. Then they ride off into the sunset.

Together.

 

[CaveMan]

1. Sidekick: Bubble

2. Heavy Weapons: BigPete

3. The Idiot Who Survives: Stu

4. The Sniper: Jako

5. The One Who Loses it: Kerfluffle

6. The Brains: bookjones( just because she scools dumb men on a regular basis)

7. First to DieMX

8. Becomes a Zombie: Ymono

9. The Smartass: TSD

10. The Sexy One: Bri

11. The Sacrifice: TCD



I made a new category, but it seems fitting