Occupation

[FireFox]

Some of you guys have some pretty sweet jobs.

 

[ShiftyDevil]

IT-Operations Team Lead..... aka Database Assassin

I wear about 10 different hats, I do some of the DBA's (Shifty's) job.... some of the Windows Sysadmin's jobs..... some of my bosses job..... some of Clone's job.... some of our BA/Client Services jobs (I get on the phone and straighten out our clients sometimes)... I do alot of stuff.

But my team's primary responsibility for our company is we receive and process healthcare data for 2 applications. We run the ETL processing, run the data through analytic engines, and then run the process that pushes results to the front end websites and debug/fix everything that goes wrong along the way.

I swear to god, 45% of my life is writing, fixing, updating ETL. My company has, roughly, 50 bajillion customers that send us data and I gotta get all that differently formatted garbo into one logical structure and loaded.

I swear to god, less than 50% of the "IT" people I have to work with know what a damned CSV is or how to quote a string.

 

[Monster]

I swear to god, 45% of my life is writing, fixing, updating ETL. My company has, roughly, 50 bajillion customers that send us data and I gotta get all that differently formatted garbo into one logical structure and loaded.

I swear to god, less than 50% of the "IT" people I have to work with know what a damned CSV is or how to quote a string.

Ok... Now in English please.

 

[Nick80]

Ok... Now in English please.

People are annoying.

 

[ShiftyDevil]

Ok... Now in English please.

People who should be good at their jobs can't do simple things. To the point where it's like asking a framer for a drywall hammer and he hands you a claw hammer and has no idea why you think he's Special person.

 

[ruprecht]

Official Condom Tester for Trojan, sizes XXXL and above.

 

[SiDe WaYs]

I work at the score...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

[Monster]

Official Condom Tester for Trojan, sizes XXXL and above.

How many dudes have broke em in ya?

 

[airtime143]

How many dudes have broke em in ya?

 

[Spunky Porkstacker]

I work at the score...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

Isn't that a titty bar in Stone Park?

 

[SiDe WaYs]

Isn't that a titty bar in Stone Park?

It's a great titty bar. We charge a coat check fee even when it's 83 degrees out

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

 

[truthbedamned]

I work at the score...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

Tell Bernstien he is a fugging jagoff......Oh wait.....is that you Dan?

 

[Bearin' Down]

I work at the score...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

Goff?

 

[SERE Bear]

For 20 years I was a USAF SERE Specialist. (Survival Evasion Resistance Escape) what does that mean? http://www.gosere.af.mil

Now I am retired from active duty but work at one of our SERE courses as a contractor. Life is good.

 

[DC]

Life is good for me as well. Just got paid like a champ, my wife is retiring from her work (cleaner house, healthier kids, more family time) and I picked up another office day so that means one less night of bad posting after getting home at 3:00 A.M. I love my job.

 

[ruprecht]

How many dudes have broke em in ya?

Nice zinger.

 

[DC]

Anyone else ever put a condom on backwards?

Yeah, happened to me during my first time. Scratched the shit outta my dick and I didn't finish. Somehow I managed.

 

[Spunky Porkstacker]

Anyone else ever put a condom on backwards?

Yeah, happened to me during my first time. Scratched the shit outta my dick and I didn't finish. Somehow I managed.

:nope:

 

[Tater]

Anyone else ever put a condom on backwards?

Yeah, happened to me during my first time. Scratched the shit outta my dick and I didn't finish. Somehow I managed.

:cringe:

 

[DC]

My first real girlfriend, senior year of high school. We've been dating 4 months or so and she's house sitting for a family friend. We're hot and heavy on the bed, using all the sweet moves she taught me to get her worked up and she asks "Do you have a condom?" Of course, like an idiot I don't. I leave her on the bed and drive 20 min. to the store. Classic movie scene. I'm running through the Smiths looking for condoms. Run back to the checkout and the older guy sees me looking dishelved, sweaty and with a giant grin on my face. He tells me "Good Luck."

Get back to the house and she's still ready for me. Now, I practiced putting one on a few times at home like any normal teenage boy. But there, in that unfamiliar house, with all the pressure in the world on me, I threw that ****** on my pistol as fast as I could. I remember thinking "Damn, it's never this hard at home." The whole time we're doing it I'm feeling this pinch. I eventually give up out of pain. Upon inspection in the bathroom I somehow scratched and cut myself. What a fucking idiot. Epic story. Epic fail.

She made it up though. BWAHAHA!