Youth Sports Coaching

[DMelt36]

I've covered a few youth sports tournaments as part of my job ... mainly Babe Ruth/Cal Ripken tournaments. The most baffling thing to me is how quick parents are to blame everyone else when their kids don't win. Either it's the umps making a bad call or kids on the other team doing something against the rules or, in some cases, other kids on that team ruining the game for everyone else. Never heard a parent just go "They just beat us" which is typically the case about 90 percent of the time. I don't know what it's like in intra-city/town leagues, but when they start getting into more competitive tournaments against teams from outside their area, the parents go fucking mental.

 

[Bigfoot]

I've covered a few youth sports tournaments as part of my job ... mainly Babe Ruth/Cal Ripken tournaments. The most baffling thing to me is how quick parents are to blame everyone else when their kids don't win. Either it's the umps making a bad call or kids on the other team doing something against the rules or, in some cases, other kids on that team ruining the game for everyone else. Never heard a parent just go "They just beat us" which is typically the case about 90 percent of the time. I don't know what it's like in intra-city/town leagues, but when they start getting into more competitive tournaments against teams from outside their area, the parents go fucking mental.

This 100 times over. In the Fall my sons soccer team lost 2-1 in the 3rd place game. My asst coach wife through a fit, and accused the other team for cheating. Legit went up and yelled at the other coach and the ref while i was talking to the kids and their patents thanking them for a fun season. The parent was pissed all becauae her kid was pushed down twice by another kid. She says wouldnt you be mad if it was your son, I said not at all its a part of the game.

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

I've been coaching and officiating for nearly 10 years now. The amount of brain dead parent/fan stories I have is unbelievable.

I'm sure Gus feels the same way but the next time I hear someone yell for an "OVER THE BACK" foul....I'm throat punching them.

My dad reffed basketball for years and that was one of his favorites.

There are still some high school coaches who don't know that on any kick, of any kind, that goes into the end zone is a touchback.

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

I would hope participation is more important. What the heck do you think you are 'winning' with elementary aged kids? Thats completely deranged.

If I put my 2nd grader on a sports team, my expectation is that they at least 'participate', no matter how terrible my kid is. Thats kind of the whole point...get them into sports early so that they have the opportunity to try something new and improve themselves. I couldn't care less if "The Hawk" is polishing another "Youth Sports Championship" trophy in his living room. Thats just pathetic on your part.

The Hawk at least raises an interesting subtopic for this thread: at what age do you no longer expect your child to get the "2 innings of play" or "5 minutes per half" rule?

I would think at the age of 12 - so 6th grade.

 

[Ares]

The Hawk at least raises an interesting subtopic for this thread: at what age do you no longer expect your child to get the "2 innings of play" or "5 minutes per half" rule?

I would think at the age of 12 - so 6th grade.

That seems fair.... I think by 12-13 it becomes a decision by the kid to play and work at a sport if they want to play it.... at younger ages kids are not deciding to play, they are being signed up by their parents to play and alot of kids need some push to get out there and at least try... but after those ages if a kid doesn't enjoy a sport and/or isn't good enough at it, then it becomes a different lesson you learn.... perform and be rewarded or fail and be penalized. By 12-13 and older it is good to start learning that.

 

[DMelt36]

Another quick anecdote on this topic: I was talking to a Cal Ripken team's coach on the phone about his team, and was asking him for a few of his players to mention in the story that have been some of his best players. He started to name a few and then requested that I don't mention any specific kids in the article because he was worried about the reactions of the parents of kids who weren't mentioned in the story.

The Hawk at least raises an interesting subtopic for this thread: at what age do you no longer expect your child to get the "2 innings of play" or "5 minutes per half" rule?

I would think at the age of 12 - so 6th grade.

That age sounds about right. But I think it also has to do with the type of league your kid joins. If it's just a intra-city league where everyone gets put on a team with no tryouts, then everyone should be getting playing time. But once tryouts/cuts are involved, or the kids or selected as some time of tournament/all-star team, then playing time should no longer be expected as a guarantee

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

Another quick anecdote on this topic: I was talking to a Cal Ripken team's coach on the phone about his team, and was asking him for a few of his players to mention in the story that have been some of his best players. He started to name a few and then requested that I don't mention any specific kids in the article because he was worried about the reactions of the parents of kids who weren't mentioned in the story.



That age sounds about right. But I think it also has to do with the type of league your kid joins. If it's just a intra-city league where everyone gets put on a team with no tryouts, then everyone should be getting playing time. But once tryouts/cuts are involved, or the kids or selected as some time of tournament/all-star team, then playing time should no longer be expected as a guarantee

In house league is different from what I mean, I guess. If you're signing your kid up for a travel league (AKA: Dad Ball), I think there is an expectation that your kid might not get full playing time. In the in-house leagues, like what I think you're talking about, I think there is a reasonable expectation that your kid should be playing some minimum.

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

Lets cut the shit here. The interesting subtopic regarding The Hawk is that he coaches youth sports. That was an 'eye-opener' for me.

Pitch count limits are for pussies.

 

[DMelt36]

In house league is different from what I mean, I guess. If you're signing your kid up for a travel league (AKA: Dad Ball), I think there is an expectation that your kid might not get full playing time. In the in-house leagues, like what I think you're talking about, I think there is a reasonable expectation that your kid should be playing some minimum.

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. For example: I grew up in the suburbs, and virtually every town had its own Little League, soccer leagues, basketball leagues, etc. These were mainly for kids under the age of 12 and they leagues were comprised of kids from just that town. Those leagues should be the ones where playing time is guaranteed for everyone (and they were, for the most part). Once you got up near middle school, though, you started competing against other nearby suburbs and that's when playing time wasn't assured anymore.

 

[The Hawk]

The soccer club I coach with in is trying to get me to get myself and my older son over to the Academy Program, where I would become the director, and coach as well. I would like to but it would interfere with my other leagues I coach in. Although probably once my sons hit 12 they will move on to the travel ball

My youngest was a very good soccer player and played with club teams from the age of around ten along with high school. His teams were ranked in single digits nationally and his club teams won major soccer championships. He was lucky in that he had excellent coaches all the way through including Martin Vasquez his high school coach who became the US national team head trainer for awhile.

I never coached soccer at any level and stayed in the background while the guys who knew what they were doing did their thing. It wasn't all great because my son was always one of the smallest kids on the team and an instinct you run into sometimes are some coaches who pick the bigger kids to play and try to "protect" the smaller kids. My son ran into that when he was a freshman in high school and played for the JV team. I saw what was happening and scheduled a meeting with the coach and we talked it out. He frankly told me that he was concerned about him getting hurt. I told him in a matter of fact way that this was my decision and my son's and we both realized the dangers of injury in most sports. I also asked him about his skill level and he said that he was maybe the best skill guy (played center mid-field) on the JV team. I just asked him to play him where he felt his talent was a good fit. In two weeks, Kyle was starting and made the varsity his sophomore year.

What I told all my kids in every sport that the played (they all started off small) until they hit their growth zone in high school was that they will have to work twice as hard as the other players in order to play. It really isn't fair but is reality. I also taught them to respect the coaches and if they had questions of them, not be afraid to ask. Like any sport, you have good coaches and bad coaches. I also found that it was a bit difficult to coach your own kid which I did in basketball and baseball because he was good and some PARENTS resented that I played him in important positions.

Going back to soccer, if your kids are good athletes over-all, soccer will give them some good advantages that are transferable to other sports as reflected in great conditioning and BALANCE and FOOTWORK. You may also run into a decision when your kids reach high school of having to choose between a high school team and a club team. Also, you may find that some coaches will want you son to only play their sport. My son and I ran into that but if he wanted to play multiple sports, I supported him all the way.

ANyway, good luck to you and your kids. They will hopefully find their way through it and you will learn a lot in the process. As you can probably tell, I think that sports as well as any other kind of non scholastic activity can keep kids out of trouble and help mold them into quality adults. Also, it is very helpful to teach them TIME MANAGEMENT because scholastic activities take priority over sports or the kid won't play at all so they must marshall their time.

 

[Urblock]

All 3 of my girls were very good at BB and damn near great at softball. I was attacked at most games because my kids played too much. It was usually the moms that lost their mind. The Dads and me would go drink a beer and their wives would be pissed at them too. 16 years of it. I miss it.

 

[FirstTimer]

The Hawk at least raises an interesting subtopic for this thread: at what age do you no longer expect your child to get the "2 innings of play" or "5 minutes per half" rule?

I would think at the age of 12 - so 6th grade.

I would say 6th grade as well. Obviously slowly develop it over the course of three years but I know my 8th grade teams we were playing to win. We weren't traveling to out of town tournaments to just be there.

But there is a balance. Winning is important. But it's how to teach the kids to learn and grow from both winning and losing.

I have similar goals for my teams each year:

1. Grow them as individuals. Make them better citizens and kids than they were when we started out. My job is develop basketball and football players...but also great young men.
2. Make them better basketball or football players than they were "x" months before when we started.
3. Win as many games as possible in the right way.

 

[Omeletpants]

This is a perfect opportunity to reflect on my youth baseball experience:

During the summers we played baseball from 8am to 9pm with hardly any rest. In one of our pick up games there was a Mexican kid. We didn't know his name so we called him Taco and he didnt seem to mind. Taco was a goofy motherfucker. Decent player but always out of control. He's on second and I'm catching. Single to left and a play at the plate. The excitment increased as the ball was racing against the runner. Taco goes into a head first slide as I catch the ball. But just a little problem for Taco as he came up 10 feet short of home plate scrapping his face in the dirt. I laughed and laughed then tagged him on the head. We never saw Taco again.

 

[FirstTimer]

I also found that it was a bit difficult to coach your own kid which I did in basketball and baseball because he was good and some PARENTS resented that I played him in important positions.

.

My dad coached me for one year in Jr. High. My dad and I are best friends and have a tremendous relationship but it was a terrible experience. He felt like he could be harder on me than anyone because I was his kid and I felt like I could talk back to him more because he was my dad. Plus Throw in the fact that I was a 12-13 year old jerk as most of us can be at that age..and frankly as a 6th grader I was already a better athlete/basketball player than he was even in high school...he made the mistake of telling me that so I'm sure that played into it a lot as far as me not respecting him as a "coach"....

Really bad dynamic.

I still remember my mom sitting us down and telling my dad he couldn't coach me anymore after that season because she was tired of us fighting all the time.

After that we never had problems again. He went back to giving general life/dad advice and let the coaches handle the coaching. Zero problems after that season with us.

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

I hated when my dad was my coach. We've always had a good relationship, but I always felt I had to go out of my way to make sure it didn't look like I was getting preferential treatment.

 

[Urblock]

Not well enough being that I'm no longer a mod.:lol:

 

[Gustavus Adolphus]

Just remembered a story that goes along the lines of FT's 'Over the Back' call.

It was 7-8th grade football, I think the semi-finals of this league I was doing. I was refereeing, and the offense ran what amounted to a half-back option. The RB threw the balll and got lit up by a defender, well after the ball was thrown. So naturally, I threw the flag. The defensive coach went nuts saying that I can't throw a flag for roughing the passer because it was the running back that threw it.

 

[The Hawk]

I would hope participation is more important. What the heck do you think you are 'winning' with elementary aged kids? Thats completely deranged.

If I put my 2nd grader on a sports team, my expectation is that they at least 'participate', no matter how terrible my kid is. Thats kind of the whole point...get them into sports early so that they have the opportunity to try something new and improve themselves. I couldn't care less if "The Hawk" is polishing another "Youth Sports Championship" trophy in his living room. Thats just pathetic on your part.

Winning is important. Getting better is important. Learning how to accept a loss is important just as how to win with grace. This is what coaches need to do otherwise all they are is a babysitter. I am BTW not talking about 2nd graders who are just learning the basics of a game. I am talking TEACHING 10-18 year old kids how to compete and win. I approach coaching as a teacher, not a baby sitter. I teach them teamwork not selfish play. I teach them respect and the consequences for not being a good teammate, of acting out, or throwing a temper tantrum. I am a good coach who has had many of his kids make a good high school team, some have gotten college scholarships, and/or signed with professional organizations. I am proud of what I did with those guys.

As for your insults, **** off. You totally missed my message in your "evaluation" of me as a parent and a coach. I have no youth sports trophies in my living room to polish. My kids, though, have a ton of them in baseball, soccer, golf, girl's softball, as well as graduating from college with honors. THAT is what is important, raising a kid that learns how to compete, is respectful toward his teammates, coaches, and teachers. The subject BTW was coaching and how to handle parents. I never coached 2nd graders because of all the "participation" rules, the trouble with a bunch of parents think that their little Jamie shouldn't follow rules, is the best player on the team, that the coach's kid gets too much play time, and on and on and on.

To be clear, I have no problem with 1st and 2nd graders playing on a "team" in which everyone plays. I just chose not to "coach" that because I didn't want to be a babysitter. It would be much too aggravating and those kids are not ready really to be taught the sport.

Back to you. **** off once again. Calling me pathetic and best of all...."deranged" is insulting and uncalled for. I am disappointed in you because normally you make sense but on this one you really showed your ass.

 

[FirstTimer]

LOL. The Hawk catching feelings.

 

[Bigfoot]

Hawk, i had moved my oldest son up a level in basketball even though he never played. At 7 he was playing agianst 9-10 yr old for the most part. He became my best defender despite never having played basketball before. He would want to guard the best player every game. And as every game he got better and better, to eventually became a level 99 troll out there. He would talk so much shit to the other team he would get in their heads. As a coach i was proud of his determination at getting better. As a dad I couldnt put it into words. Now on his soccer team he is taking the reigns and being a leader getting after his teammates.

He ended up fouling out in his last 3 games. The one game he straight up tackled the kid going for a loose ball. I was like dude whats up, he goes damn dad ive played 24 straight minutes im tired. Gave him a hug and we laughed on the sidelines