Dear Ymono

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,

If for some evil fucking reason we sign Lou, is it okay to denounce the hawks and become a panthers fan?

Sure? I guess. I suppose it might make it easier for you to attend a "local" game.

 

[bookjones]

Dear Ymono:



Why are Mondays so soul-crushingly awful and thus (justly) universally reviled?







Yours,



Hella Pissed I Had To Work Today

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono:



Why are Mondays so soul-crushingly awful and thus (justly) universally reviled?



Yours,



Hella Pissed I Had To Work Today

Because you touch yourself at night. God sees that shit.



























Honestly, the answer to this query lies in the quandry of, "Why must the weekend end?" Because we need money to pay for rent and food (and in your case, shoes, books and self-pleasuring devices). So two days of mostly not having to concern ourselves with the mundanity and ridiculousness of the working world is abruptly ended by having to return to that same bullshit.



With that said, Happy Monday.

 

[supraman]

Dear Ymono,

Why do we not revolt against our bosses and demand 3 day weekends and 4 day work weeks. Why must we be slaves?

 

[bookjones]

Because you touch yourself at night. God sees that shit.

Oh, pshaw. I don't believe for one second that Zeus would have a problem with this considering what a hyper-sexual, scandalously horny little philandering rat bastard of a rake he is himself.

 

[Ymono37]

Oh, pshaw. I don't believe for one second that Zeus would have a problem with this considering what a hyper-sexual, scandalously horny little philandering rat bastard of a rake he is himself.

Zeus doesn't... however, FSM does.



Kneel before his NOODILY APPENDAGE!!!

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,

Why do we not revolt against our bosses and demand 3 day weekends and 4 day work weeks. Why must we be slaves?

Because you touch yourself at night. God still sees that shit.































Oh, and because complacency makes for idleness and lack of ambition.

 

[supraman]

Because you touch yourself at night. God still sees that shit.































Oh, and because complacency makes for idleness and lack of ambition.

God is such a perv watching me whack it

 

[jakobeast]

Maybe if you get all of your coworkers to agree to work 10 hour days, then you can have a 3 day weekend.

 

[bookjones]

Dear Ymono:



Why won't Ryan Suter and or Zack Parise get with the fucking "Contend for a Decade in a High Caliber City" program and just sign with the Blackhawks? Why do FA athletes choose to go to teams with less talent and more holes to fill and/or teams that have dire financial and ownership issues or else choose to go to teams in cities which are shitty?



Yours,



Suterless in Chicago

 

[bri]

Dear Ymono,





i was watching the Twilight Zone today and I got a telephone call and it lit up on my TV screen that the call was coming from my phone. I expected it to be someone telling me they were going to kill me and thinking OMG they're in the house. You know that old babysitter horror story. Actually, no surprise it was a telemarketer that barely spoke English. I wanted to say, It's a Holiday, why are you calling, but then figured the call was probably from a foreign country so it would have no meaning to them. Anyway my question is how do they get it to appear as if the call is coming from my own phone? It all seems very shady.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono:



Why won't Ryan Suter and or Zack Parise get with the fucking "Contend for a Decade in a High Caliber City" program and just sign with the Blackhawks? Why do FA athletes choose to go to teams with less talent and more holes to fill and/or teams that have dire financial and ownership issues or else choose to go to teams in cities which are shitty?



Yours,



Suterless in Chicago

I'm thinking it's because you haven't sent them enough naked pics... that and Jako has probably been sending them TOO many.



Although Parise has always impressed me and I wouldn't mind seeing him wear Blackhawks' Red.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Dear Ymono,



Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,





i was watching the Twilight Zone today and I got a telephone call and it lit up on my TV screen that the call was coming from my phone. I expected it to be someone telling me they were going to kill me and thinking OMG they're in the house. You know that old babysitter horror story. Actually, no surprise it was a telemarketer that barely spoke English. I wanted to say, It's a Holiday, why are you calling, but then figured the call was probably from a foreign country so it would have no meaning to them. Anyway my question is how do they get it to appear as if the call is coming from my own phone? It all seems very shady.

Because the ghost of Rod Serling gives them magic powers...



Honestly, I don't know, but seeing as how the telemarketer is foreign, they probably have illegal (to us) devices that can mask this kind of thing. Or maybe it's gremlins.



Now that I think about it... definitely gremlins... on the wing.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

Great question.



I love all peanut butter, but, gun-to-my-head? Crunchy.

 

[MassHavoc]

Dear Ymono,



If you could have one free pass to kill 3 people you thing should go away forever. But you would have to cut off say... a thumb or 3 fingers... would you do it? And if so, who would you kill.



Love,

Kim Kardasian.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono,



If you could have one free pass to kill 3 people you thing should go away forever. But you would have to cut off say... a thumb or 3 fingers... would you do it? And if so, who would you kill.



Love,

Kim Kardasian.

I'm a pretty peaceful guy, so I don't see myself actually killing anyone... and as I enjoy playing guitar, giving up any part of my hands would be out of the question.



With that said - there is one "celebrity" I wouldn' t mind seeing "disappear": Terry Bradshaw

 

[MassHavoc]

I'm a pretty peaceful guy, so I don't see myself actually killing anyone... and as I enjoy playing guitar, giving up any part of my hands would be out of the question.



With that said - there is one "celebrity" I wouldn' t mind seeing "disappear": Terry Bradshaw

Ok... how about toes instead of fingers.

 

[winos5]

Dear Ymono





If my son turned 18 in May and his girlfriend turned 15 in July how do I prevent myself from becoming a grandfather while keeping my dumbass son oot of jail. I'd put my balls on it but then I'd go to jail too.







Regards.





Not old enough to be a patriarch.

 

[Ymono37]

Dear Ymono





If my son turned 18 in May and his girlfriend turned 15 in July how do I prevent myself from becoming a grandfather while keeping my dumbass son oot of jail. I'd put my balls on it but then I'd go to jail too.







Regards.





Not old enough to be a patriarch.

Groin injury. Find a way to give him one "accidentally" - it has to be enough to keep him from diddlin' but not permanent enough for him to NEVER be able to give you grand **** trophies.



Failing that... you might just talk to him, buy him some rubbers with the caveat that you DEFINITELY aren't giving the him the go-ahead just that he needs to be careful. A bigger worry to me would probably be the potential for her parents to throw around that life-wrecking word "STATUTORY" - not knowing the laws in Texas, however - I'm not sure it's an issue.



You could always try to scare him straight with a marathon or 4 of "16 and Pregnant" - but I'm not sure that even gets the point across to today's youth.



Where does a 17year-old find a 14 year-old?