Dearest Mule

[bookjones]

WEST (-ish) SIDE!! MANIAC LATIN DISCIPLES REPRESENT!



Why I hate the burbs:



1. I dont own a car and left to the mercy of bike, metra, and black Cadillacs.



2. If you live in the city, the burbs offer nothing but an arcade



3. Burs are scary where scary thing happen



4. City dwellers are obviously better people



5. Hanging with a chick in the burbs sucks as getting the hell outta dodge usually mean she has to drive you somewhere

As my friends and I used to say in H.S. back when every suburb was area code 708, "Never date 7-0-8."

 

[supraman]

Says the guy living in Florida.

But the blood coursing through my veins is Northsider blood

 

[The Count Dante]

NEVER date 7-0-8! (And you are right, there are a few others now...) Or if you do, make sure they come into the city, but that sucks even more because then they have to enter the Count's Castle...

 

[The Count Dante]

But the blood coursing through my veins is Northsider blood

So that blood is way-too-white-in-the-frat-party-that-never-ends-with-Daddy's-money?

 

[supraman]

So that blood is way-too-white-in-the-frat-party-that-never-ends-with-Daddy's-money?

Hey I grew up in a blue collar neighborhood

 

[Tater]

But the blood coursing through my veins is Northsider blood

Northside Miami?

 

[supraman]

Northside Miami?

Do you want the power to kick stu or not?

 

[Tater]

Do you want the power to kick stu or not?

Wait wait wait. Stop it right here:

No need to threaten. Of course I want to kick Stu out of chat for a game.

You sir, are a true-blue Chicagoan.

 

[BlackHawkPaul]

Dearest Mule,



I like farts like the next person, and love to see the old men crap themselves at the local supermarket. Why (after 11 years) can't my wife allow one gassy pass to exit her bum in front of me so I can enjoy an amazing moment in time?



Aromatically yours,



BHP

 

[The Mule]

Dearest Mule,



I like farts like the next person, and love to see the old men crap themselves at the local supermarket. Why (after 11 years) can't my wife allow one gassy pass to exit her bum in front of me so I can enjoy an amazing moment in time?



Aromatically yours,



BHP

Dearest Fart-Lover,



This is a true predicament. Relationships are difficult ships to navigate. Sometimes one person wants to head in one direction while the other one is drunk at the wheel. And sometimes one person wants to hear and smell flatulence while the other person is shy or scared. Farts are indeed an entertaining and rich part of our lives and to not be able to enjoy them can be distressing.



I think you should start my asking yourself a few questions:



Does your wife have any traumatic experiences related to farting in public? Does your wife know you love farts? Does she sometimes walk away when you are discussing your love of farts? When you're at the the supermarket watching old men crap their pants are you filming it with your phone? Or possibly a more high tech camera? Do you subscribe to Fart Aficionado Monthly? Has your wife every caught you jerking off to ass-sniffing porn? Do you own any scratch and sniff stink-butt stickers? Do you want to vacation inside of a giant asshole? Do you force-feed your wife, or anyone else, beans, or any other extreme fibre foods? Do you sometimes sneak off to a hotel just to pay a woman to fart in your presence?



If you answered yes to three or more of these then you might be the problem and not your wife. You may have a very advanced fart addiction. I would advise you to attend Fartaholics Anonymous (FA) as soon as possible. Although, most fart addicts are unable to seek help and make it work for them until they've hit rock bottom.



Hopefully, you'll be on the mend very soon.



Stinkily yours,



Mule

 

[jakobeast]

Dearest Mule,



I like farts like the next person, and love to see the old men crap themselves at the local supermarket. Why (after 11 years) can't my wife allow one gassy pass to exit her bum in front of me so I can enjoy an amazing moment in time?



Aromatically yours,



BHP

I can lend you my wife as her gaseous exploits are legendary.

 

[nana]

Oh, I think everyone is well aware we are Samesies[font=arial, sans-serif][sup]3 [/sup][/font] by now.

"I just wanted to be sure of you."

 

[bookjones]

"I just wanted to be sure of you."

LOL, that's right P.

 

[MassHavoc]

My tenderess Mule,



I think all baby names suck, and half of them remind me of dogs names. How do I pick on that won't scar her for life.



Love,

Gerber Baby



p.s. Who am I kidding any kid of mine is probably already messed up?

 

[R K]

You have no idea whether I bite or not.

LOL!

 

[R K]

This thread has a whole lotta WIN all over it. LOL!

 

[bookjones]

This thread has a whole lotta WIN all over it. LOL!

Agreed. It's like WIN just jizzed ALL over it.

 

[supraman]

Agreed. It's like WIN just jizzed ALL over it.

So it has that glazed look?

 

[jakobeast]

My tenderess Mule,



I think all baby names suck, and half of them remind me of dogs names. How do I pick on that won't scar her for life.



Love,

Gerber Baby



p.s. Who am I kidding any kid of mine is probably already messed up?

Personally, I like the name Molly. If I were to ever knock a broad up, and the devil spawn had 2 X chromosomes, I think I would name her Molly.

 

[supraman]

I really like Carrie Ann and it has absolutely nothing to do with Carrie Ann Fisher. It is from a girl I knew in high school who was cool as hell