Not saying that she is a pieace of crap person. Her actions are more selfish than Jon. She has increasingly become more authoritarian as time has gone on. Her nerves get shot when people don't see eye to eye with her or bend the knee. Which she then threatens with death.
If you can't see that then agree to disagree. Nothing left to talk about there.
I already said that her actions are more selfish but that is compared to Jon who is perhaps the most unselfish character in the show. She is no more or less selfish than say Sansa or Arya. I think she too hard at times whereas I think Jon is too soft. Hence why I think ideally they need each other to balance them out.
Only people she threatened death that I recall for not bending the knee were Sam's family who had just engaged in warfare with her and refused to submit after defeat. That is fair game in warfare in my opinion. She offered them a chance to avoid death and they did not take it.
She certainly shows her emotions but she didn't force Jon to bend the knee, she was prepared to move ahead without it then Jon offered it right before they fucked. She also relented when everyone stood up for Jamie despite Jamie saying he would do the same thing over again. Someone actually authoritative would not have tolerated that.