The IHN Psychiatric Couch

[TSD]

Here's what I honestly want in a woman. She has to be smart, I have to actually give a **** about what she has to say. This is going to sound sadlypathetic. Even when I watch porn if the chick seems dumb I don't care how friggen hot she is I'm turned off. Shyla Stylez is hot as hell and comes off dumb as a brick, she does zero for me. So yeah brains are a must. She doesn't have to be the hottest chick on the planet but sure the hell doesnt hurt but she has to have a pretty face. Also it sure would help if she understood my unhealthy obsession with hockey. Low drama too, I just have zero patience for dumb shit drama, I will just walk away because it is a waste of my time and give a damn. Sure that might sound like a lot but I dont think it is.



As for dating online. I'll be candid even though I've tried geek to geek online dating does feel like I've failed at being a human being. I am not saying I'm against trying it but I have to get past the mental issues I have with it. As I've mentioned I have old parents so I have a lot of old fashioned tendencies and going to a dating service just seems like I'm a **** up (I am but for different reasons).



I'm being way too honest for a damn hockey forum but **** it. I just need a girl to give me a god damn chance. I can be witty and funny and charming, I'm a smart guy, I do not act like a ******, I'm brutually honest (lost me my last gf prospect and no we aint going to talk about that level of Special person since that's a long, long ass post. Just I needed to just keep my mouth shut on that one is all), I'm loyal unless given a reason not to be.



Two of the women I worked with asked me about cheating one time and at the time I borrowed a Chris Rock line just because and I said "A man is only as faithful as his options." and I left it at that and throughout the workday it just ate at me I mean fucking ate at me. I got to the point where I emailed them and said I wasnt being honest and I had quoted Mr. Rock and said honestly I'm not the cheating type it isn't in me, if I am not happy in the relationship I'd rather just get out of it instead of cheat.



I dunno I'm a bit emotionally dead because of Tiffany, as well as other women but she's the main culprit, long story short, I thought i had her, I thought we were going to date, so I called her and said let's go out and she told me she was out with Dan and in an aroundabout way said she picked him. I was fucking devastated (I was 16 at the time so yeah it is teenage drama shit I know) but at the time yeah I would have bet a fortune that I had her so when she told me that I hurt like all hell. I remember that night i took 2 tylenol, 2 tylenol PM, and 2 tylenol sinus because I didn't want to think when I went to bed (I did not try to OD just wanted the brain to turn the **** off). After that I kinda just eliminated my emotions, I was a cold hearted prick for most of high school. I became basically vulcan (as nerdy as that sounds it is accurate) I just looked for the logical answer and eliminated emotion from the equation. I was that way for a LONG LONG time, basically until I was 19, some of that still remains. It is probably why I'm so apathetic nowadays giving a shit just aint worth the pain.



again being too honest but might as well go all the way. I'm a big fucking nerd. Like I read comic books, play magic on xbox, play way too many video games, I am a know it all because I know enough on most subjects to know more than the average guy. I find quantum physics a bit beyond my realm but still interesting as sin. I hardly drink because I don't see the point, I've never done drugs not even a single hit of weed. Take the Big Bang Theory those are my people, sure those guys are all PhD nerds and all that but I get all the social awkwardness in that show I get all the science shit in that show. I relate to those guys more than any others on TV. If it were the 50s I'd be labelled as a square and **** I know I am it took me a LONG time to come to terms with it and accept it and embrace it. But let's be honest it doesn't help with getting the ladies. Also I'm fat so yeah that dont help my cause either.

You are preaching to the choir there. That is the cinder block that fell on my relationship with my ex. I am very apathetic. I don't know exactly why (again there are easy things to point to in my life as to why I may have started bottling up and ignoring my emotions). My thin isnt so much that I don't feel, but am precieved as not caring or feeling.



Relax dude, most guys play video games, look at the damn video game thread half the people a married. I aint a slender man myself, but I suppose thats where ability to run your mouth comes in. and a Giant penis doesn't hurt. I don't have one of those.



Im not s much of a nerd as I used to be i suppose, I dont read comics or watch anime anymore, pretty much just video games. When I lived in the dorms at college I didnt even play video games, because people on my floor were always doing something fun.

 

[TSD]

I said no spiritual beliefs

yeah thats why. They dont like non-believers.

 

[phranchk]

I said no spiritual beliefs

Over 1 million people have been rejected on eharmony. It's a christian site, although they don't advertise it as so.

http://consumerist.com/2006/03/confessions-of-a-former-eharmony-worker.html

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/06/11/why-does-eharmony-reject-people/

 

[supraman]

Over 1 million people have been rejected on eharmony. It's a christian site, although they don't advertise it as so.

http://consumerist.c...ony-worker.html

http://psychcentral....-reject-people/

So I screwed around and did a profile on Chemistry.com ....50 bucks a month....um I could just get an escort and save myself the time. I don't have that kind of money. Jesus Christ.

 

[R K]

Screw it, Jako I need to get laid. Want to make sweet luvins with me

jako---

 

[TSD]

So I screwed around and did a profile on Chemistry.com ....50 bucks a month....um I could just get an escort and save myself the time. I don't have that kind of money. Jesus Christ.

I think Plenty of fish dot com or whatever its called is free.

 

[supraman]

jako---

Big tits...works for me

 

[phranchk]

I think this might be the answer to your problem.

 

[sth]

Supra, I know it sounds crazy but just stop trying to score. Just try to be friends with girls. Don't try for anything else. When you try to pick up a girl your desperation shows and girls pick it up and get turned off. I've only had success with one girl but I didn't try to pick up on her. I started out being an online friend with her. And after talking as friends for a while we got really close now we talk constantly. I don't know if that helps.

 

[TSD]

also, theres always craigslist for a quick lay.





Dude I know got a crazy *****, that showed up at his work and stalked him afterward, and no he didnt tell her where he worked, she did her homework.

 

[supraman]

Supra, I know it sounds crazy but just stop trying to score. Just try to be friends with girls. Don't try for anything else. When you try to pick up a girl your desperation shows and girls pick it up and get turned off. I've only had success with one girl but I didn't try to pick up on her. I started out being an online friend with her. And after talking as friends for a while we got really close now we talk constantly. I don't know if that helps.

heh heh heh he said score

 

[supraman]

You know I have to confess my original post I made as kind of a joke, I mean it was honest but I meant to just throw it out there and wow what a conversation. I'm a bit less frustrated with my situation today, yesterday I was just in a funk all day. I appreciate all the advice and I'm pretty sure I spilled my guts a bit too much but oh well it is out there now.

 

[winos5]

My recommendations



1) Unplug your computer, xbox, laptop for a few weeks.

2) Join some type of social activity where you will meet other people and perhaps develop a social circle. The hockey beer league suggestion was a good one.



On the other hand you could keep waiting for the pussy fairy to make all your dreams come true. I'm sure one day a hot intelligent porn star who cooks and cleans will fall madly in love with your fat, apathetic, socially inept ass.



































To Harsh?

Tissue?

 

[jakobeast]

jako---

If only my tits were that glorious.

 

[supraman]

My recommendations



1) Unplug your computer, xbox, laptop for a few weeks.

2) Join some type of social activity where you will meet other people and perhaps develop a social circle. The hockey beer league suggestion was a good one.



On the other hand you could keep waiting for the pussy fairy to make all your dreams come true. I'm sure one day a hot intelligent porn star who cooks and cleans will fall madly in love with your fat, apathetic, socially inept ass.



































To Harsh?

Tissue?

...so how does one go about getting the pussy faire to visit you? Do you have to leave a dildo under your pillow or something?

 

[winos5]

...so how does one go about getting the pussy faire to visit you? Do you have to leave a dildo under your pillow or something?

You could always try this.

 

[supraman]

You could always try this.

god damn bastards. I'm at work and youtube is blocked.

 

[TSD]

My recommendations



1) Unplug your computer, xbox, laptop for a few weeks.

2) Join some type of social activity where you will meet other people and perhaps develop a social circle. The hockey beer league suggestion was a good one.



On the other hand you could keep waiting for the pussy fairy to make all your dreams come true. I'm sure one day a hot intelligent porn star who cooks and cleans will fall madly in love with your fat, apathetic, socially inept ass.

Damn dude, you went right for the jugular.





On the otherhand supra you really could try and lose weight and get in shape. Word Smithery aside, there is nothing like being physically irresistable to the opposite sex to the point they don't care whats inside that noggin of yours.



and believe me, I am well aware it isnt as simple as "just do it". Exercise really is key, because you can cut less out of your diet and still lose weight, and no I don't take my own advice, but at one time I lived it but swore off exercise after I got out of the Army, but now that Im single, im back on a fixed eating iincome and at least trying to exercise, (im one of those people that hates working out in gyms, always been like that) so every night i pop off a pyramid of pushups and situps, and I have no snacks in my apartment and the only food is lean pockets and lean cuisine meals. (although I do have light popcorn, damn things are life savers when you really want to eat something its only like 200 calories for an entire bag). I got out my old army exercise manual and my muscles felt exhausted just looking at it.



The best way to stay on a decent diet is to just not have the shit in your house and dont shop hungry. because then you will find yourself comparing the 15 chicken parmesan filets in a 5.99 encore "family" dinner, or the meagre amount of food in a 2 dollar lean cuisine, and if your hungry, its going to be really hard not to choose the chicken parmesan.



The only food vice ive allowed myself in the past few weeks is beer. and "usually" I only drink one day a week or days when I am mentally comprimised and come on to every piece of ass in a blackhawks internet chatroom.

 

[winos5]

Damn dude, you went right for the jugular.

The brutal honest truth is the best therapy in my opinion. If he's truly a fan of R. Lee Ermey he will apreciate it. I actually bit my tongue regarding his relationship with Mommy.

 

[supraman]

Damn dude, you went right for the jugular.





On the otherhand supra you really could try and lose weight and get in shape. Word Smithery aside, there is nothing like being physically irresistable to the opposite sex to the point they don't care whats inside that noggin of yours.

Yeah a lot easier said than done and to actually be about where I need to be is going to take probably a year. I need to lose about 80-100 lbs. That's a serious chunk of weight to drop so that aint going to come easy. Tuesday I'm going to an adult hockey clinic so hopefully I can get back on the ice on a regular basis and as long as my dumbass can stay away from McDs after hockey I should lose some here and there.



Shit Winos isn't wrong. I know that, which is why I haven't told him to kiss my fat ass. And being overweight sure the hell does wonders for my confidence with the ladies too....do I really need purple for that one?